Sour Patchies.

My brother came home with the Sour Patch Kids, and dayum they are so sweet and good. Then I read the back with the Nutrition Facts and I spot 200 calories. Then I'm like fudge it, I'm not going to lose 15 pounds this year, which is like the weight of two babies, and I am having a difficult time trying to expel the babies out of my body.

New Year's Eve.

I think my New Year's Resolution is to eat sensibly--I won't be stuffing my face any longer with junk food. Right now I am currently 5'4 or 164 inches and about 115 pounds. I would love to be 100 pounds, or at least until my legs stop looking like oak tree stumps and more like branches lool. This morning, I made a cream cheese and strawberry sandwich and I have like a love-hate relationship with it. Not sure why, but I'm sure that I detest twizzlers yeck. 
Impressively, I didn't snack all day, but I think it's because I was lounging all day in my bedroom where there isn't a snack cupboard. I forced myself to lie down on my bed and finish the be damned book for English, and while I was reading it, I spotted an inappropriate line: "Her friendly nipples jiggled" and I thought two things; what the fuck is up with English teachers and the books they choose for students to read (believe we are mature enough before advancing to psychopaths in Shakespearean literature?) and what is wrong with the tendency for adult fiction writers to include irrelevant descriptions of sexual innuendos? Like Stephen King was totally out of context in the ending of The Stand where he described the woman with, if I remember correctly, pert nipples as pink as sunsets. Maybe they find it artistic or whatever, but I'm only moved by how a artists focus on depicting human anatomy, and it fit, not some horny writer trying to insert his fantasies in there... You can be vivid, but too vivid is bleh offensive and odd.
By accident, I texted my brother that line and a condensed version of the rant, and it was so embarrassing! To sort of cover up, I texted him asking him to bring home Sour Patch Kids. I don't know how that compensates, but it does and now I am going to be devouring the candy he brings home. He owes me after getting him a Lush Christmas Eve bubble bar and he didn't give me anything back. Oh well, I also asked him to get me a lotion or bubble bar from Lush for my birthday, and he agreed yay.
I was absolutely famished by dinnertime and I ate more than I would regularly eat for dinner, but I think it's because I wasn't drowning in Pocky sticks y'know. I was watching Skins and I finished the third season. I don't know if I want to watch the fourth season, because it's the most depressing out of all the other seasons methinks. I was skipping around the episodes to catch glimpses of what would happen, and Effy is in therapy with a crazy fuck, that crazy fuck kills Freddie, and umm I'm sure something happened with Naomi and Emily, but I forgot what. I just wanted to leave with the image of a happy lesbihonest couple in mind. It doesn't matter anyway, because the sixth season of Skins as well as another season of Switched At Birth is coming up, all in the month of January.
I'm not really the type to be like "Yay New Year let's start over yeah" because it's just another change of year to me, and the New Year isn't going to be that fabtabulous. Maybe the perks coming soon is getting the basement floor to myself, because my brother's going to college, new episodes of the shows I love, and my friends coming over to celebrate my birthday. We're thinking about watching another scary movie together and filming us doing Truth or Dare. But my family is currently in a tight spot, because my mom is paying for her school studies and my brother's college applications, so I'm undecided on what to get for my birthday. I was thinking about room decor to personalize my brother's bedroom which will soon be mine. It's smaller than mine, it's cooler and I don't cope well with the cold, and there are spiders everywhere, but the perks I guess is having my own bathroom and that big room between the bed and bath. A possible birthday gift wish would be a wicked frame of insects with a face pattern on their exoskeleton, I dunno. I just know that I have to go wash the dishes, take a shower, and finish the rest of my homework. Possibly study and aim for a seven in science.   One New Year's resolution that's going well for me at the moment, or better, is wearing my retainers haha.
x Yam

Time to get cracking.

This morning, I thought  I would make pancakes because it's a new experience, which are almost always fun, and we ran out of bagels. They didn't come out that great, because I used baking soda instead of baking powder, but my brother managed to finish his stack of three. I couldn't go through one pancake though, because me and my cooking of sweets don't go together well. I drizzled the pancakes with honey, put a dollop of cream cheese and arranged sliced kiwifruit.

New Year's Eve is tomorrow and I still have to come up with one resolution that I will stick with. What should it be? Staying on track, specifically with homework? Hmm. One thing's for sure, I need to complete my English assignment book and complete my Humanities essay! Uh oh, is that a separate tab you see with a Skins episode? I pretty much know that I won't get things done. Time flies and stops for no one, and few conquer.
x Yam

Insomnia.

Yesterday night, I felt really guilty for watching Skins on my iPhone underneath my bed comforter until 2am, so I was lying in bed and thinking about what a failure I was, since I also put off reading my English assignment. I slept in my parent's bed after disturbing them an hour later, and I slept at the edge of the bed until my mom told me to sleep in between them, facing the other way. Oddly, my dad's snoring was reassuring and I felt safe in the world again, loved. Then when my dad got up early to go to work, he was doing this leg-exercising thing or he was just trying to fool around because he was swinging his leg at my blankets. When he left, up until then I have been sleeping without a pillow because their mattress is a lot softer than mine, but my head was starting to ache so I escaped to my room and grabbed a pillow anyway. 
Now I have 70 pages to catch up on this boring science fiction novel, but what I love about morning time is that I never feel too guilty, because looking outside at a bright day is reassuring that you have all the time in the world... That is what a chronic procrastinor believes in. But I think it is time to spruce up, because I have to start studying again, since we are starting the chemicals unit in science and I think that is my weak point.
x Yam

New pair of boots.

As I was getting out of the shower, I was thinking how silly it is that I work really hard in school and strive to get good grades while I'm not going to be like a neuron scientist when I grow up, I want to be an actress or a model. The thing is that my acting is crap unless I'm doing a British accent, and I can't model because I'm a midget at 5'4. I finished with my Humanities homework, and all that is left for today is reading 35 pages of Follow my Tears, the Policeman said, and I am really not looking forward to it. I would rather read The Night Circus or the second book of the Hunger Games. I can name a lot more books I need to catch up on reading, but this is an English assignment that I have to get done. I'm the paranoid type that can't use Sparknotes anyway, because I feel like I might be quizzed on minor details in the book that a book guide would otherwise leave out.
My mom came home and I think I annoyed her by how chipper I was, because she's only happy when I'm sullen and when I'm chipper like now she is pissed off. Well she can't help but be peeved by how I was shoving the cookies in her face and everything, I really wanted her to try some of these confections that just in the nick of time, hardened to stones. To that, I wonder if the Chips Ahoy chewy chocolate chip oatmeal cookies are chock full of preservatives or something of that matter, because how do they stay so darn chewy?
That's the nice Timberland pair of boots that could be labelled as my 'Christmas present,' even though my whole family is atheist and we shouldn't be celebrating the birth of Jesus. Oh well, my birthday is coming soon in January and I don't know what to get. I can't ask for anything astronomically expensive, because the odd thing about my family is we get gifts and lavishing dinners and vacations randomly, yet rarely on time like on holidays do we have anything special. For example, one Sunday we would be having lobster and such and for this Christmas dinner we had the usual.

There's my single sock and pajamas as I shove one boot on. It's classic effort, mate. I've always said that the small things are what make me happy, but today is sort of a shit day, because every day short of perfect or fantastic is shit to me. The essay that is due soon exceeded the word limit of 1,300 and I think by the time I am done writing it, I will be by 2,000 words easy. So I pushed the science homework assignment to Sunday to do, which sort of aggravates me because I was planing to do it today but I strayed off of task as usual. Also, I need to plan a separate day to rewrite my whole essay... on an optimistic note, it's more of a revision, but I still have much to do. Busy busy busy. I always thought the school breaks are just like a mini take-home version of school.

x Yam

Garbage plate.

I made lunch by combining all the leftovers from what my dad made last night, and I think it was a horrible gross idea, because I ended up combining dry rice with some egg quiche that made it all soupy and with the leftover side dishes, turned the whole thing into a vomit color. It reminded me of the garbage plate which I would never dare eat. Thankfully, I had the heart to start over and make a new lunch, because I tried giving my older brother the dish to eat, and I slyly covered it with a fried egg, but I was being too callous in having him eat it. So I got out the instant spicy ramen packages and resolved to Shin Ramyun noodles.
I've been really bad with wearing my retainers, because I'm always eating or grazing on snacks, so retainers would be in my way of eating because they're the plastic invisible ones. Now I cannot wear them as much because they pain me. They have become an irregular fit or something. I don't want to go through braces again, so I'll have to remind myself to wear them now and then. Gahh I'm going to go re-watch Skins beginning from the first episode of the first season now, just to relive this awesome show. I can't wait for Skins season 6 and Switched At Birth season 2, and I think these shows are going to air soon this January. I have to seriously start on my homework now, but knowing I'm a multi-tasker, I'll have Skins on a separate tab lool.
x Yam

I baked cookies.

Usually what I bake turns out to be a disaster, so I'm too afraid to eat my own baked goods. But with the addition of chocolate chips, who knew they could make such a difference? I went to Walgreens and bought them along with light brown sugar, and when I was walking home, I was acting really paranoid... I don't really live in a completely safe neighborhood, because I do spot some shady characters here and there, mixed with some people who have sizable amounts of money. I ran to my door and double-locked it, then laughed at the ridiculousness of it all.
The recipe I looked up online had oil as a butter substitute, because butter is a bit expensive and the ingredients are all bought with my own allowance. I skipped on the vanilla extract and I didn't have any vegetable oil, so I used peanut oil instead, which gave the cookies a bit of a nutty flavor. I'm glad I didn't use corn oil like last time for the sugar cookies I made for school, because it tasted off. When I poured all the chocolate chips called for in the recipe, there was like a 2:1 ratio of chocolate chips to actual cookie dough. In fact, there were ten chocolate chips left in the bowl. Nooo I bet they were upset that they couldn't fulfill their role in the universe. They went into the trash because tsk tsk, everyone knows you can't eat raw cookie dough...
However I am guilty of using the five second rule, because when I used makeshift oven mittens, which was actually a dish rag wet with cold water, it was scathingly hot and I couldn't place it onto the counter right away, since there were some bowls and crap in the way. I ended up dropping the tray onto the floor, and the whole batch went astray. I couldn't save the crumbly ones that broke apart, but I managed to save like three or four that were still composed. Phew. I won't be telling my family that they fell though...shh. I'm sure the hot cookies will burn off some germs or something, because they certainty gave me a minor burn, just to my luck, next to the permanent scar I got some years ago when I was cutting a melon. I tried a cookie and it was crispy on the outside and chewy on in the inside, not to mention they look soft and fluffy, not flat at all. Take that butter! I'm proud of myself with these, and they reminded me of   McDonald's cookies.

My friend just texted me asking about the Humanities homework due, and I thought we only had to work on the essay, and even that was optional. So I'm a bit dejected from the ecstatic moment of joy I had earlier, since it adds to the amount of homework I have to get done by tonight. Then I remembered that I might be getting new boots today, because Macy's was having a sale on this Timberland pair my mom and I were looking at before, but it was a little more than we can buy straight away. Again, it's the small things that end up with uplifting my mood. 
x Yam

So I'm starting this blog.

I've started like numerous of blogs before, and I think I will try to restrain myself fromd deleting this in the near future. I'm such a perfectionist that I either have a good blog that I keep on 'viewing' or I just have a crappy one that I delete, hopefully it won't be latter.
I will just laugh at this blogs ten years or so from now, because I'm thirteen years old turning fourteen, and it's that 'awkward phase' or so the future me will say.
lool So I'm on winter break right now (8th grade) and I am working on my Humanities essay, even though it isn't required. Being a hardworker has its perks every now and then, because I don't have to worry about this essay later on when it's actually do and I have no time to work on it living so far away from school and having a sucky means of commute that delays half the time. Sooo my break has been pretty chill, I know one friend who's going away and having a blast probably somewhere in the North Pole, haha no, but somewhere fun. But I think I've come to enjoy these peaceful days at home where I'm just chillaxing with an ugly face and making no efforts to make myself presentable in my slouchy pajamas. Just doing my homework over the break and I might do some studying, because I have a hunch that a science test on the new unit we're studying, chemistry, is going to pinch me in the bottoms. lool did I just write that? So yeah, I'm not happy about that, I'm not happy about the anxiety I'm having of the SHSAT results coming soon, though I am a bit joyful knowing I'm going to be making chocolate chip cookies tomorrow and I hope they're not a disaster and I'll actually eat them for once, because I have this weird phobia of eating things I baked myself, since I keep imagining all the raw ingrediants I put into them, yuck. Well it's usually the small things that add up that make me happy.
I hope everyone is well.
x Yam

Done with hw!

Yayyy! I had to clap for myself in self-congratulation because I'm done with my homework for the day! I am finally on task with what I need to complete over the winter break. I made a mini schedule for me, and so far it's helped me profusely with staying on track.

I saw this image on tumblr and it made my mom and I laugh. :) "What's that? Chicken with bear?"
So for some reason, I cannot get this classmate out of my head who is a really negative being who I want nothing to do with. Usually I confront people who boggle me, but I think I'm going to let this sidle away because she's a blabber mouth who loves to gossip, so she would jump at an opportunity to talk about me... Long story short, she had a charm attached to her usb that looked like a swastika, and apparently it wasn't, got into a fit, called me and some boys retards, and I had to beg at her feet to forgive me on the walk home from technology class. I'm planning to give her the cold shoulder for the rest of the school year, because you know Capricorns and their grudges. We only forgive people who we truly care about, and she is one bugger who doesn't care about anyone but herself and the idols she looks up to. Everyone else, she looks down on.
It seems like everywhere I go, there are people like her. Us folks need to stay strong and not bend to the currents and become one of them. I shall go off to bed soon after I take a nice shower and contemplate things. Oh and play some Restaurant Story maybe.
x Yam